Many are right now experiencing “People fatigue” which is the bewildering burnout after long seasons of being used, manipulated, and pulled in every direction by people for extended periods of time. People fatigue is the result of being constantly coerced and controlled, told what you should and shouldn’t do, being pulled into drama and situations there was no grace on, and/or worn down by people who keep overriding boundaries, and then gaslighting you when you confront it.
People fatigue comes to the surface when you realize that you are either bitter and resentful at any level of relationship or involvement with others, overly wary, cynical of all people, or are noticing yourself hiding and retreating. Other signs are anxiety at gatherings or events, scrolling through social media, and anger/frustration seeing others in healthy relationships.
If this is you, it’s because the enemy wants you to never find family and genuine covenant relationships. In fact, I believe it’s one of the enemies tactics to isolate you further after you have already come out of a long wilderness, sending you back into obscurity and a Lone Ranger lifestyle.
If he can cause you to fear people or have you attempt to do kingdom without people, then he knows he has won in keeping your calling at bay.
But let’s go one step further. People fatigue at the surface is people burnout but underneath it’s a triggered area of soul trauma that is rooted in feeling abandoned or used by God. What? How does that work? Let me explain; Think of a pastor who knows his job is to look after his flock. He gives his life to that congregation often at the expense of his family and own wellbeing. Then one day he crashes hard with a moral failure or just mentally/emotionally. Who does he feel let down by? People? Not necessarily. He feels let down by God. “Why did you call me to something I couldn’t keep up with?” He says.
But the issue isn’t that God overloaded us, but that religion did. We did. Hang on, how were we part of the problem? It’s easy for us to accidentally slip into the role of fixer when we are in ministry or doing kingdom because we see the great need and think that if we don’t do it, who will right? Before too long we have been spread thin, see the warning signs, but often don’t stop until we have become completely shipwrecked. Is this where you are? Are you in people fatigue?
The first step, is dealing with your heart towards the Lord. Ask Him to show you what He called you to without all of the extra baggage and hats that he didn’t tell you to wear. Make the clear distinction between that which He called you to and the over bearing religious burden you have taken on. Also, ask Him to heal and restore your heart from the weariness of the last season.
Secondly, deal with any areas of people pleasing in your heart that keeps you in bondage to people or feeling like you owe everyone your time and energy. Is there a reason you keep getting to a place of burnout? Ask the Lord to show you.
Thirdly, forgive people who have worn you down and whether knowingly or unknowingly, used you over and over. Maybe you also need to forgive people who have promised things or said things but haven’t delivered.
And lastly create some boundaries. Write out a list of rules for yourself of how to effectively do relationships. How can you be in connection to others and a community of people where you feel valued, can pour into them but not feel like you get drained of everything? How do you interact without getting pulled on in an unhealthy way? Decide to up your communication game and value yourself more. You are not being unloving or mean by stating your boundary lines.
LAST THOUGHTS
Learning to trust people again is a big deal and can be easier said than done but it’s worth fighting to achieve. There are aspects of God we don’t get to experience without community and a close knit group of people to run with.
This doesn’t mean we have to open up the floodgates of our hearts to everyone either. In fact, we need more discernment in the days to come and need to know who we are meant to do covenant relationship with and it’s not everyone.
One other source of people fatigue are those in “wrong companies” or yoked to people or leaders who are using them to do their bidding. You keep wondering why you are depleted in every way when you are “serving the man of God” but it’s because you are being used. It’s time to break those yokes and as you do you’ll start to be healed and get refreshed again.
Some people attract drama and by being in the pig pen with them you keep getting their mud on you. Leave it! Shut the door!
“Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way” — Isaiah 35:3
